An Answer

I got a phone call this morning from the MS Center from the nurse and she told me that the MRI's did not show any damage yet on my spine or brain. Since they are the MS Center, there job is to try to diagnose you, get you on medication, have you come back every 6 months or so and do more MRI's to even see if the medication is working or if they should try you on something else, tell you how they think you are doing and repeat the same procedure for the rest of your life. She said that they feel that I have MS because every thing fits and all of the criteria have been met except for finding the scars, but since they can't diagnose me 100%, then at this point, there job is done until something else happens. I obviously have mixed emotions about this. On one hand, I am thankful there is nothing "permanent" happening in my brain or spine yet. I feel that buys me extra time somehow. On the other hand, it is so frustrating not to be able to say something 100%. The truth is, if they had called and been able to diagnose me 100%, then nothing would be different then it is right now. You can't take any medications while you are pregnant or nursing (which I am and will be doing) and after researching the different kinds of medications and all the risks involved of damage that it can do to the rest of your body, I had decided that I was not going to go that route. At least not at this point in my life. So, nothing would be different then now, except maybe a definite answer. But that is not meant to be. The Lord must know I need this in my life to enable me to be a better Christian. I pray that I don't fail Him.
I thought I would be terribly upset if they told me that they could not give me a definite answer but once again the Lord has proved Himself a "very present help in time of need". I am reminded of a song Joy sings called "Under His Wings". How that we can run under His wings. I am so thankful for this in my life. I am just going to live day by day enjoying the most out of it that I can and I will let the Lord take care of MS in my life whenever and however He wants to. I know that He can heal me of this if He chooses and and I know that if He chooses not to, then He will (and already has many times) give me the grace to live each day just like He did the Apostle Paul.
I so appreciate all of your notes, prayers, calls and concerns. Please keep them up as each day has different challenges. Mostly pray that I will allow the Lord to use this in my life so that I can be a testimony of His calming presence in times of trial and suffering so that others will be able to see Him through me.